We all fall into the trap of at least one, if not all, of these things. This is especially true when we first start trying to make change in our lives or when we lack confidence in ourselves.
Over the last decade I have had my fair share of good seasons and tough seasons and I have fell victim to all of these things. So today, I am sharing 5 things you should stop doing now, if you want to be happier and have the energy to reach your goals.
1. Taking Advice From People Who Don't Support the Life You Aspire to Live.
We have all experienced this in one way or another. Well meaning friends or family who give us advice on the who, what, when, where, why and how's of our life and goals.
They love us and care about us, but many times don't actually listen to what we are saying long enough to understand why we are trying to do what we are trying to do. They just read a post or know a friend of a friend who did something similar and they are waiting their turn to share this "knowledge" with you.
My advice here is to listen but don't feel like you need to apply anything. Unless this person has actually accomplished what you are setting out to do or your loved one is trying to connect you with someone who has accomplished the same goal. If that is the case, grab and pen and paper, buy this person a cup of coffee and take notes like your life depends on it!
Everyone else is just noise. They mean well but it's up to you to do actual research and make decisions based facts to get to your goals.
2. The Mindset of "I'll Start As Soon As I Have....."
I cannot tell you how many times during my coaching years I heard this excuse. Every monthly challenge I ran would have a handful of people who wanted to participate but not this month because of X, Y, Z.
Well here's a dose of real talk. There will never be a perfect time to start. No matter what the goal is... finances, fitness, nutrition, education, travel, etc. You have to make the time to start your journey and you have to be willing to sacrifice.
If I used holidays, birthdays, weddings and other events as excuses to hold off on my weigh-loss journey, I would still be over 100 pounds overweight and unhappy.
This mindset of later is due to something deeper within you. Identify it, conquer it and move forward!
3. Holding Grudges
We often hold grudges because we don't want to let the other person off the hook for something that happened. It somehow validates our pain and makes us feel better, but doing this places us in a fixed mindset and prevents us from moving on.
A fixed mindset is when we think we cannot change something and it limits us in our potential!
It's important that when mistakes happen (be it your own or someone else's) that you don't carry that mistake around with you forever. Instead, use it as a lesson or a stepping stone and allow it to carry you forward on your path to achieving your goals.
This is where my mantra of Fail Forward comes in play. Mistakes and failure should not be feared, they should be welcomed because they offer valuable lessons that help us to change our lives.
4. Mindlessly Scrolling Social Media and Comparing Yourself to What You See
Social Media is the biggest comparison trap of our time. People spend a lot of time filtering and curating perfect photos for their feeds, in order to gain followers. These highlight reels, as I like to call them, become a false reality that we end up comparing ourselves to and that is truly some insane bullshit.
This is not the first time I have touched on this and I don't see myself stopping anytime soon.
We have to stop comparing our very real and very raw daily lives to a heavily curated highlight reels full of perfectly lit, posed photos. Our lives are more than likes, followers and how we rank thanks to an algorithm that is forever changing.
I highly recommend cleaning up your social media from time to time. If someones feed makes you feel like less of a person, unfollow or mute until you are able to build your confidence. Fill your feed with more "real" people. I have real in quotes because being authentic is the new trend on social media so authentic isn't always quite as authentic as it might seem.
The social media algorithm learns from you. They recommend new people and fill your feed with posts they think you will enjoy based on your scrolling habits - THAT is why cleaning up social media is so important. You do have some power here - make sure you use it.
Side note: social media is a tricky place but it's also an amazing place. I have met so many inspiring and real people on there. Social media allowed me to create a support group when I didn't have one locally. You just have to be mindful and honest with yourself about what you need and create it for yourself. Your feed is yours... you control it, as I mentioned above!
5. Putting Off Your Goals
This last one is two part in my experience. It can tie in with the first one from this list when it comes to friends and family. We rarely want to let close friends or family down, right? If they give us pushback on our goals, don't agree with them or think we should do them differently, we might cave in to make them happy, even if we know what we want to do is the right thing for us.
Don't do this. Please. I have watched many people put off their goals because of this... I myself have done this too. It never ends well. Stay true to yourself here even though it is tough. Our friends and family will come around eventually and if they don't, well, that's unfortunate but you have to live your life and ensure your own happiness.
The second part of this is fear. We all have fear when it comes to new things. It comes from the unknown. Not knowing what is going to happen and how things will end is the biggest driver when it comes to anxiety.
A great way to combat this is by writing down your fear. (Go grab a piece of piece of paper, I'll wait) - this takes some of the power behind the fear away from it because it's in writing. It's no longer just in your head plaguing your every thought.
Next, I want you to write "If this happens I will...." and finish the thought in writing. If another fear pops up, keep the process going until you have a plan written out.
It sound hokey I know, but it works. I have done it quite a few times and putting it on paper truly takes a lot of the power out of the fear.
Yes, there will still be some fear... mainly stemming from taking that first step or letting someone know what we are working towards, but for the most part, you'll have a plan in place and that's powerful!
I hope you enjoyed this list of 5 things you should stop doing now! I truly believe that conquering these one by one can help you to clear the road blocks on the path to achieving your goals.
Have any other great tips or try any of these? I would love to hear about your experience. Leave a comment below or find me on Instagram! Listen and subscriber to the podcast version of this blog HERE