• Nikki Hynes

Why Self-Reflection Is Important

Updated: Oct 19, 2020


Photo by Alisa Anton on Unsplash

Have you ever felt like you're trying to do everything but accomplishing nothing?


Do you ever feel like there just aren't enough hours in the day to fulfill all of your commitments?


Ever look in the mirror and have the negative self-talk kick in and tell yourself things like, you're not good enough, you're not talented enough or you just flat out aren't enough to be successful at anything you set out to do?


If you answered yes to any of those, I completely relate and understand how mentally draining operating in a mindset like this is. The good news is that we do not need to remain stuck in this mindset. At least not if we are willing to practice some self-reflection.


Self-Reflection: Meditation or serious thought about one's character, actions and motives.


Many of us are guilty of falling into "people pleasing mode" or doing what we think we should be doing to have a successful life. But are we really successful if we are only living to please others?


When was the last time you stopped going through the motions and sat back to reflect on how you feel and where your life was heading?


Can you remember the last time you sat with your thoughts and feelings and didn't try to chase them away with Instagram, Facebook, Twitter or Netflix binging?


Most of us fill our calendars with "things" so that we feel busy and so when we meet up with a friend, or check in with family, we can tell them how busy we are. However busy does not mean productive or happy.


When did busy become a badge of honor? Take a moment to think about that.


I am not sure when busy became the cool thing to be, but it's complete bullshit. We waste time being busy with tasks that mean nothing to our goals or dreams, and then we make the excuse that we are too busy to justify why we aren't closer to the goals we set.


Can you see how maddening that is now?


But here's the deal, taking some time to sit and reflect on your feelings can tell you a lot about yourself and where your time and energy should be going.


This time dedicated to yourself can help you figure out your strengths, your weaknesses, what makes you happy, what stresses you out and what makes you feel accomplished instead of drained.


By taking this time to self-reflect you can get clear on what tasks you should be saying yes to, and which "things" you need to begin saying no to. This can help you to free up time and energy during your day. This can also help you to get clear on your purpose so you can begin working on your goals and creating a positive mindset for yourself.


Below are 10 questions that you can ask yourself to get a feel for where you are right now.

  1. What makes you happy?

  2. What makes you unhappy?

  3. What do you value in life?

  4. What is holding you back in life?

  5. What are your strengths? (Where do you thrive in life?)

  6. What are your weaknesses? (Where do you struggle in life?)

  7. What motivates you?

  8. What is your personality type? (Myers-Briggs Test or The Enneagram Test)

  9. What traits do you admire in yourself? What traits do you admire in others?

  10. Where would you like to be in 5 years?

Another great task you could do to gain insight on what is holding you back is making a list of the habits you have that prevent you being the person you want to be.


Hint: For a lot of us, it's people pleasing and worrying about what others think.


I don't expect you to figure this all out over night. As a matter of fact, if you did, I would be bold and say you're lying to yourself about it. #RealTalk


However, if you begin dedicating a little bit of time each day to journaling using the questions above, keeping a daily gratitude list or even learning how to meditate, you could really begin to learn about yourself and what you truly want your life to look like.


Getting real and vulnerable with yourself can help you to gain confidence and clarity about your life. Don't you want to make sure the tasks you say yes to align with your beliefs, goals and values?


Stop being afraid of looking inside of yourself and understanding what you want.


We need to stop being busy for the sake of being busy or because our feelings scare us. There is nothing wrong with wanting to find true happiness and working toward it. But it's going to take work to achieve it. Are you ready to put in the work?


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