Life Is About Evolving
Updated: Oct 19, 2020
“All that we are is the result of what we have thought. The mind is everything. What we think we become.” -Buddha
The last 18 months have been interesting. They have been the start of a very new and sometimes scary part of my life. They have been about self discovery; finding myself, figuring out what I want, what makes me happy, who makes me happy and most importantly... how to be happy with myself. You see, life is about evolving and if you aren't okay with that, you might end up feeling stuck.
During the majority of my life, I rarely put myself first. Making time to take care of myself or to do the things that interested me weren't a priority. Taking care of my home and my children and making sure those I loved were happy, was more important and needed to be taken care of first in my mind.
I'm sure you have all heard the saying "you can't pour from an empty cup" - well it's true. It's hard to show up as your best self, when you aren't making yourself a priority. (This might be the most important lesson you can learn in life!)
I didn't intend to end up where I am today, but I suppose it comes with the territory. When you decide enough is enough and actually do something about being overweight and unhappy, you begin to change. It's inevitable. You can't remain the person you once were if you want to become a new version of yourself. It's insanity to think otherwise.... because again, life is about evolving.
Over the years I was forced to face feelings that I didn't want to face, some of which I have openly spoken about, such as my emotional eating and my lack of core nutritional education growing up. Some other feelings I carry close to my heart, not ready to share just yet.
Part of evolving and self-reflection for me, was looking at relationships and seeing them for what they really were. I had to realize that I was the only person who could make the changes that needed to be made, in order for me to be happy. I couldn't wait for others to change. I couldn't wish their behavior to be different. All I could do was adjust how I reacted and change the relationship based on how I felt and what I needed to be happy. Might sound selfish, but ultimately it's not.
This is turning out to be a more me-centric post than I intended. However, it's through my experiences and sharing events from my life that I feel most comfortable explaining why mindset and working on it is so damn important.
The roller coaster of emotions I experienced over these last 18 months made me feel like I was going crazy at times. The pressure I put on myself to stick to my goals while figuring out my new life and new responsibilities was crushing at times. I tend to hold myself to a very high standard and quite honestly, I am thankful I do or I may not have achieved the things that I have over the last 18 months, not to mention the last decade of my life.
The funny thing about new chapters in life, is that every time we think we have something figured out the world shifts, perspectives change, or someone new enters our life and sheds a new way of thinking on our situations. Or in our most recent world, a pandemic hits, forcing us all to remain in our homes and face a lot of our issues head on. The Universe can be funny like that.
As tough as this pandemic has been on many of us mentally... personally, it has allowed me to really self-reflect and get clear about what I want to achieve in my life. It has allowed me to acknowledge what I have accomplished so far and it has allowed me to identify where I need to focus to ensure reaching the goals I still want to achieve. It has also allowed me to work on having patience with myself... being kind not only applies to others, you need to be kind to yourself as well.
It amazes me how much I have grown over these months and how I wouldn't even recognize my old self if we were in a room together. The old me never would have never imagined I would be where I am today or accomplished the things I have. This is not to hype myself up publicly, it is to show how important it is to celebrate our success in life and flex our confidence muscles... life is more than just biceps and abs.
Prior to my divorce, I never lived alone. I was never the person responsible for all of the day to day decisions, all of the bills and to ensure I had health insurance. I never worried about retirement, ensuring I had a savings account that could carry me in a worst case scenario or how I would make all of this happen after being out of the full-time work force for almost 18 years of my life.
I would have never dreamed I could figure all of that stuff out while holding onto my my goal of helping and motivating other people to reach their fitness and mindset goals. I lacked confidence in myself and allowed fear to hold me back at first. Heck, I still have days of doubt, which is normal, but it's not like it used to be.
These blog posts, sharing on Instagram and the podcast episodes are my way of paying it forward. By sharing the things I learn and figure out on my journey, I hope to encourage and push you to find your next level of greatness and clarity in life. Cause if I can do it, you can too.
We are all capable of amazing things and can truly accomplish anything we set our minds to, but we need to believe in ourselves. We need to understand that change doesn't happen over night. It takes a lot of trial and error to learn the lessons we need to learn. Again, it's all about my mantra #FailForward
As I sit here and write this I can honestly say I can't wait to see what tomorrow holds, although 2020 has me a little leery with what it has thrown us so far. Despite that, you never know who you may meet, what new lesson you may learn or what path your life may take next. All you can do is enjoy each moment as it is presented to you. Take the good with the bad and be thankful for the chance to make the best of it.
"The future is completely open, and we are writing it moment to moment." -Pema Chodron
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